Most of us have heard that women need to respect their husband and men need to love their wives. Men and women are not the same and they have different needs. Love and respect are Christian things to do to all brethren, but love and respect in marriage is different. Love and respect are not merely information; they are nourishment, food for each other. If it was just some information, we would only need to tell our spouse we love them once. Hey, I don't tell my husband 15 times what we are eating for dinner this weekend. But, I do tell him how much I respect him.
Remember, ladies, that we crave love from our husbands, just like our husbands crave respect from us. Too often we give our husband love because that is what we need and want. We need to change our focus and give our husbands what he needs most: respect!
Love includes acceptance, security, commitment and sacrifice. Respect involves honor, admiration, and deference. This type of respect should be directed towards abilities and acheivements.
When your husband receives a bad evaluation from work or has lost his job he needs respect from you more than ever. You can not say, "well, he isn't respectable because he lost his job, so I'm not showing respect." Remember you need love when you are the most unlovely (crying on the couch because your world is falling apart). When your husband is down, that is when he needs respect the most. So, give it to him.
Seeral years ago, I heard a speaker tell wives they should practice saying, "I am proud of you for...." A man will become more and more respectable when he knows his wife respects him, that she is proud of him. I found this a bit difficult at first. It was so easy for me to tell my kids that I was proud of them, but I was not used to telling my husband that I was proud of him. Since that time, it is easy to tell Steve how proud I am of all his successes - with our kids, with our marriage, with his provisions for our family, with his diligence in his walk with God.
If you don't "feel" respect for your husband, think of all the things he does that you take for granted. Does he go to work? Does he bring home a paycheck? Does he attend church with you? Is he kind to your children? Does he play with your children? It is much easier to focus on what our spouse does not do, instead of what he does.
Be sure to tell your hubby how much you love him, AFTER you tell him how proud you are of all that he does for you and your family!!!
Kerry
Fruit of Her Hands
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